Flight, We are go for launch...

Monday, Feb 13th, 2012...... 1:17 a.m.

"You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, "I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along." . . . You must do the thing you think you cannot do."
~Eleanor Roosevelt~



Once again, (yet to no surprise) sleep eludes me.



T minus 00days : 13hrs : 40 minutes to go time.
Just reading it back makes my heart beat so hard my entire body twitches with every beat.


I can't imagine how hard it's going to beat when they put me in my radiation shell and bolt me to that table... I'm sure the machine performing the radiation will make all kinds of creepy laser/spinning/whining/scary sounds that will just intensify things. I know they say it doesn't hurt while it's being done, but until it actually starts, and the machines are running, and I'm not feeling anything...I'm going to be internally going mentally bezerk. I know I'm already on a lot of drugs, but I'm hoping that an Ativan or two will at least help me breathe a little...


I move into the cancer lodge today sometime, and the first dose of radiation is scheduled for 3:00p.m.
I'll stay in the lodge Monday to Friday's. It is closed for the weekends. I'm going to come home this first weekend to see my family, and attempt to hang on to one last week/weekend of feeling like a normal human being living a normal life. I'd like to come home every weekend, but I have no idea what to expect, and I have made temporary back-up plans to stay in Victoria on weekends should I not be up for the commute to and from the hospital once this really starts to beat me down.


Assuming all goes well right from the start, I'll have radiation every day except weekends for 6 weeks.
If once we get things moving, we discover any problems or complications, we'll stop the treatment and re-assess our options.


I'm going to try my best to make this Blog a daily thing starting today. I've half worked up the nerve to give a video entry a shot, and I figure I should do that while I still have the ability to talk. Should it go well, I'll try to make those a regular occurrence as well, as long as I am physically able.

I'd also like to take a quick second to thank all my followers, and all the strangers who pass by this page and take the time to read. Your public comments, and private messages brighten up my day, each and every day.
I see comments from People I thought had long forgotten about me, from family, and even neighbors. It fills my heart knowing that you all have me in your thoughts. 
I've gotten feed back from so many of you that you are all out there getting your Velscope's Done, and are spreading the word to get your friends and family screened.

I've even gotten word that one of you had abnormal cells found, and that you are already in the process of getting the problem taken care of before it has a chance to become something like my situation.

That right there nearly brings me to tears. The one thing I hoped to achieve with this page has already become a reality. I have made a difference....

Where do I go from here??

So I ask of you this.

Send me your questions.

What do you want to know about my situation? what is something you'd like me to write about? any suggestions as to how to make this page better? or more informative?

I'm looking for any feedback, I write for the people who want to read, now I just need to know a little more about what they WANT to read.

I'm VERY open book throughout this, and I will try to answer ANY questions posed to me. you can leave a comment here, or you can email me privately if you don't want your name published with the question, and I will keep it anonymous.

I can be reached at cancerheadsup@hotmail.ca

Thank you all again for taking the time.
We'll talk soon :)